


(Dancing) On My Own

by FatyGSquare



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunk!Shoma, Kissing, M/M, Shovier, This is Shoma's fault, not edited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28368984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FatyGSquare/pseuds/FatyGSquare
Summary: Shoma watches him. On his own.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Shoma Uno
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	(Dancing) On My Own

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello! New fic! Short one, but it's been in my mind since watching Shoma's free yesterday. I love love love the song and the program is so beautiful, and though it wasn't perfect, boy looked so happy!
> 
> Anyway, same warning as always. English is not my first language and blah blah...
> 
> Enjoy!

Shoma smiles and thanks yet another fan that has come up to him to ask for a picture and an autograph, has told him how well he had skated and what a pleasure it was to have him here.

It is a pleasure for him too, to be in this arena in Madrid surrounded by other skaters and fans and living an ice show experience so very different from the ones in Japan.

Javier had jokingly mentioned having him at Revolution on Ice now that he trained in Switzerland and was closer to Spain. Shoma, still not able to distinguish jokes in English very well, had enthusiastically agreed. Javier had looked so very taken aback and Shoma had tilted his head, nervous smile on his face, thinking maybe he hadn't understood the Spaniard. But then Javi's expression changed to that soft and radiant smile of his, the one that made Shoma blush and fidget. He had told him what an honor it would be to have him in ROI and skating for the Spanish audience, and then ruffled his hair like he used to when Shoma was younger.

It made Shoma's heart drop to the bottom of his stomach, as always.

He turns to look at the stage, where Javier is accepting another present and hugging the fan, taking a photo and thanking her for coming. The line is still so long, he thinks, and admires Javier for still having that friendly smile on his face, despite having been there for nearly an hour already. He looks around some more, at other skaters mingling, talking to each other and to fans. On his left, Jeffrey is talking to a fan that thanks him for all his incredible choreographies and Jeff beams, asking something that makes the fan gape and nod. Sara and Kiril are talking to one of the invited artists, a woman with an amazing voice that had sang for Shoma as well, and they laugh with her. Elladj, Anna, Luca and David are talking to each other, laughing at whatever a clearly drunk David Wilson tells them.

He approaches the bar, pointing to a glass of white wine and quietly thanking the young lady who passes it to him, sipping the alcoholic drink as he retreats to his corner to steal glances at Javier and possibly interact with the occasional fan.

It is two hours, thirteen fans - yes, he counted them - and who knows how many glasses of wine later when Javi finally leaves the stage, looking exhausted but happy as he says goodbye to the last fan that was waiting in line. The music increases in volume as the audience who were part of the meet and greet leave, and Javi approaches all skaters one by one, a pint of beet in one hand and the other... The other hand is busy playing with the delicate fingers of the young woman who had come with him. Javi hasn't explicitly said anything, but there isn't anyone in the crew who doesn't think this is Javi's new girlfriend. They have whispered about it, gossiped and tried to coax a confession from the Spaniard, but to no avail. Her name is Andrea and she's beautiful. Not too tall, not too short; dark, long hair falling down her back, make up on point and smiling and laughing at everyone's comments and Javi's antics, whispering something to Javi every now and then.

She is beautiful. And Spanish. And female.

And Shoma has a very annoying urge to cry and drown his sorrows in yet more alcohol when Javi spots him in his corner and starts walking towards him with Andrea in tow.

"Shoma!" he says, cheerful and friendly and just... Javi. Just Javi. "You were amazing tonight!"

Shoma smiles, swallowing the urge to flee the scene or vomit. Metaphorically, of course...

Or maybe not, when his stomach twists in a weird way and he has to cover his mouth with a hand, forcing his glass of wine into Andrea's hand and bolting towards the exit. He turns around one corner, then another and another before giving up on trying to find a restroom, deciding to just open the door that leads to some kind of terrace and throwing up all the alcohol he had drunk on the corner of the open space. He retches again, emptying his stomach completely and promptly letting his head fall against the wall. He groans when his forehead comes into contact with the cool stone of the wall, as the cold of a late December night helps him regain his senses a bit. The door opens and rush of warm air makes his stomach twist again. He turns away from it and holds onto the railing, retching again even though his stomach is already empty.

"Shoma?" Javi asks and Shoma wants to hide, ashamed he got this drunk. After party or not, he is still working. "Are you okay?"

There is a gentle hand on his back and Shoma flinches away from the touch, from Javi's kindness and brotherly behavior because it hurts. It burns and freezes at the same time, it makes him want to scream and cry silently, curl in on himself in a corner and ignore the throbbing pain every time Javi pats his back, or ruffles his hair, or does anything friendly.

He knows it is delusional, despite the few people who know of his feelings reassuring him Javi is not as straight as he looks. Yuzuru has told him time and time again, that Javi likes men just as much as he likes women, and that he enjoys being intimate with men from time to time. Shoma had to listen to him relate such an encounter, unable to leave because the world was watching. He didn't talk to Yuzuru for months after that.

"Shoma?" Javi asks again and Shoma would yell at him if he didn't know it would make his headache worse.

" _Mizu_ " is all he says, and Javi nods. He may not be fluent, but Shoma knows Javi understands somethings in his mother tongue.

He gently guides him back to the hall where the meet and greet had taken place, and Shoma gives the skaters a half smile when they look at him concerned. Itsuki is there too, and he raises a brow, making Shoma want to punch him. Javi walks him to one of the chairs and waits until he's sitting to go fetch him some water. Itsuki is by his side in a second, patting his shoulder and trying hard not to laugh. Shoma shoots him a glare.

"Here." Javi says when he returns with a glass of water and passes it to him. "Drink it and I'll call a cab for you."

"Thank you." Shoma tells him and watches him go.

Itsuki is the only one who seems to notice how his eyes linger on Javi's back as he takes careful sips, going down, down, down to his ass that looks amazing in those pants and- No. Shoma is not going there. Not again and certainly not in public.

"You're staring again." Itsuki says, not bothering to lower his voice because the only people who understand Japanese in the tour are busy talking to others. "And drooling."

"Shut up" Shoma tells him and he is infuriated that's the best comeback he could master.

"Are you okay?" a heavily accented voice asks and Shoma looks up to find Andrea there. "Javi couldn't get taxi so he goes to car."

Shoma blinks once, twice and just stares at her. What?

"What?" he asks, with what he is sure is a stupid look on his face.

"My English no good." Andrea says, with a soft blush on her cheeks and a friendly smile. "Javi go get car."

Shoma nods. Ok, Javi went to get his car, so he is leaving too? No wonder, he must be exhausted after the show and having to pose for all the fans. And they have to do it again tomorrow. Shit. He has to skate again tomorrow. With a hungover. Just fantastic.

Javi reappears, walking in wearing his coat and with a set of keys dangling from a finger. He stopped to say something to David, who nodded and patted his shoulder before hugging him. He seemed to say goodbye to the rest of the skaters and staff before he made his way to where Shoma, Itsuki and Andrea are.

He says something to Andrea in rapid fire Spanish, Shoma's eyes glued to the way his lips move to form each word. Itsuki snorts behind him. Whatever Javi tells her makes her laugh, shake his head and kiss his cheek, waving a hand dismissively. She turns to him, waving him goodbye and telling him to rest and drink lots of water. Shoma nods and watches her walk towards Sara, pat her shoulder and do a little weird dance that has them laughing.

"Shoma, are you ready to go?" Javi asks and Shoma's attention snaps back to him. "The car is just outside. Do you have all your things?"

"I take things." Itsuki says and Shoma turns to look at him like a deer caught in head lights. "I stay more, Shoma go."

No. No no no no. There is no way Shoma is getting on a car with Javi and no one else. No way. Never.

"Great!" Javi beams, passing Shoma his coat. "Come on, let's go."

"Have fun!" Itsuki says in Japanese and Shoma turns to glare at him.

Javi puts an arm around his shoulder, gently guiding him out of the hall, out of the venue and to the parking lot where Javi's red Kia Stinger is. Shoma tilts his head when he sees the car, surprised that Javi would drive something so elegant. He always had him for an SUV kind of guy.

Javi unlocks the car and opens the door for him and, if Shoma were sober, he'd raise an eyebrow. He gets in, resting his head on the seat and jumping a little when Javi touches his hand from the driver's seat.

"If you need me to stop, tell me, okay?" Javi says, voice quiet and gentle and it is doing a number on Shoma's drunk mind.

He imagines this is what Javi sounds like when he is concerned for his lover, and for a moment, he lets himself believe that's what they are. Partners, lovers, Javi's attention solely focused on him.

He starts the car, turns on the heat and the radio and Shoma closes his eyes. If they were open, he would've seen Javi's concerned eyes focus on him for the briefest moment before turning back to the road ahead. His eyes slowly open when they come to a soft stop at a red light, Shoma blinking. He wants to say something, anything to break this suffocating silence. Well, suffocating for him, because Javi doesn't seem to notice he has opened his eyes, absolutely focused on the road.

Then it happens. Soft piano notes Shoma is all too familiar with make his gut wrench and he shifts on the seat.

"Are you okay?" Javi asks. "Do you want me to stop?"

Shoma hums and shakes his head, listening to the words Callum sings. So familiar, so painful, so true. A tear, then another and soon they're falling freely down his face while mouths the lyrics of the chorus.

_I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh_

_I'm right over here, why can't you see me? Oh_

_And I'm giving it my all_

_I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh_

_I keep dancing on my own, ah_

The car stops again and Shoma furiously wipes the tears away. They've arrived to his hotel, the fancy entrance softly illuminated.

"Why the tears, Shoma?" Javi asks, unfastening his seatbelt and turning to him fully. Calloused fingers wipe the tears right under his eyes and Shoma sobs.

They feel rough, calloused from years of tying laces at light speed. But gentle when his thumbs caress the small bags under his eyes, drying them with a back and forth motion. He closes his eyes and holds Javi's wrists, head leaning to rest on one hand.

For a moment, just a short moment, he wants to feel him. Soft, gentle, warm.

Tomorrow he will blame it on the wine, and apologize profusely to him. But tonight...

Tonight he leans in, eyes still closed, and closes the gap. His chapped lips feel rough, he is sure, but he lingers for one, two, three, four. And he fights his heart to pull back, fights that voice in his head telling him to do it again and again until-

A hand on the back of his neck. Soft, gentle, warm. Demanding but not commanding, giving Shoma plenty of opportunity to pull away, to stop the kiss. He doesn't, of course he doesn't. And Javier presses closer, carefully tilting Shoma's head to deepen the kiss.

Who knows how long they stay there, kissing, feeling. Eventually, they separate, panting softly. Shoma refuses to open his eyes, just in case this was another one of his dreams. A chuckle, and a thumb on his lower lip make Shoma blink and look up to melted chocolate eyes.

"You need lip balm." he says, thumb still caressing his lower lip. Shoma nods. He does.

Javi leans in again and kisses him softly, shortly and breaks the kiss much too soon. Shoma whines, chasing the warmth of Javi's mouth on his.

"Tomorrow." Javi whispers, pushing Shoma's hair back. "Preferably when you're sober."

He blushes to the tip of his ears but nods, puckering his lips and giving Javi his best puppy eyes. The Spaniard chuckles and shakes his head, but pecks his lips once, twice, thrice.

"Get some rest, Shoma." Javi tells him, bringing a hand up to his lips and kissing his knuckles. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Shoma nods, quietly wishing him 'sweet dreams' and exiting the car. He walks to his room in a daze that has nothing to do with the alcohol he has consumed.

He remains in a daze. At rehearsals, during the show, at the meet and greet. He is in a daze when he talks to fans, to Paloma - he's glad he can finally put a face to the name, to other skaters.

Then Javi comes when all the fans are gone, when it's just skaters and staff left and takes his hand, softly squeezing it in his. He guides him out to the parking lot, to his car and, unlike the night before, to his apartment. He opens the door and lets him walk in first, and Shoma lets out a gasp when Javi holds his wrist and turns him, loops his arms around his waist and kisses him.

And again. And again.

And it's silly, so silly when they start swaying from side to side, dancing with no music. Shoma smiles, a single tear falling that Javi kisses. Then he kisses his cheek, his forehead and finally, his lips.

While they dance, in the middle of Javi's leaving room, they kiss with no hurries.

And Shoma smiles into each kiss, now that he is not dancing on his own anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Hated it? Lemme know in the comments!
> 
> The world needs more Shovier.


End file.
